“Don’t you dare compare yourself to women who SETTLE for the “Oh he’s alright” guy who loves them just to fit into the mould society made of what women should be and how they need a ring to validate them. These bitches can GET OUT OF MY ELITE UNCARING FACE. Love like everything else, is an ideal, an aspiration! Natasha, in marketing terms, you a premier brand - not mass market, with a unique USP, and premier products must wait for the rare, worthy customer.”—Liy Othman
You see, when I meet someone & I play this game with this guy.. say.. I’m interested in, I play all the way till I get all these heartbreaks & depressions. Imagine I have this house, I’ll just burn it & keep on burning till it explodes. And then I’m left with none. Then I move onto the next house. But in the end, when you settle at an unburnt house, it’d be all worth it.
But you, Natasha, the way you play it like you have this house, but the effort you put in somehow burns, but doesn’t explode. But you’ll get sick of the almost salvaged house & you move on to the next available house. The house is still there. Salvaged but dwell-able. You can still go back to that house if you feel like it, or if the house is inviting. But at the end of the day, you’ll be left with so many houses. Not THE HOUSE, but a whole Wisteria Lane of them.
That, is not effort. Honestly, when was the last time you put in effort for a man?
”—One of my gems, Liy.
Answer: Not that I can remember, girlfriend. I sucked, right?
“Art is like masturbation. It is selfish and introverted and done for you and you alone. Design is like sex. There is someone else involved, their needs are just as important as your own, and if everything goes right, both parties are happy in the end.”—Colin Wright
“The saddest kind of sad is the sad that tries not to be sad. You know, when Sad tries to bite its lip and not cry and smile and go, “No, I’m happy for you”? That’s when it’s really sad.”—John Mayer (via pink-prose-in-heels)
"I’m *inserts name*. Nice to meet you." "I’m Natasha. Nice to meet you too."
I’ve been going around for like a thousand times since early this year where I just decided, you know what, maybe its time for me to meet new people now.
But today, I just ditched a bunch of hot guys to have a decent milkshake with a friend. While I was in the cab, my boggling insane mind went, "What the fuck are you doing, Nat?" But my guts were always right.
I’m done socializing. You meet someone, you talk, have a nice conversation, maybe add him up in Facebook the next day for the sake of it, and then what? You totally lost it the next morning.
What the fuck do I need to network for? I don’t do PR. I don’t even need PR for my photography. It’s an earning hobby for God’s sake. And I believe, if you’re good at what you’re doing, words get around somehow.
And the last thing I need, is for them to get the impression that I just wanna get laid. What happened to masturbation?
“I know it feels like you have all these options and when you make a decision, you lose a world of possibilities. But the reality is, until you make a decision, you have nothing at all.”—Janet Fitch (via kari-shma) (via quote-book)
“I don’t want to be married just to be married. I can’t think of anything lonelier than spending the rest of my life with someone I can’t talk to, or worse, someone I can’t be silent with.”—Mary Ann Shaffer (via thresca) (via quote-book)
M:I'm emotionally shut off. It's hard for me to move on... Maybe cos I'm still in love with her.
Me:So what are you doing now again?
M:I'm just here to make women happy.
Me (thoughts):It's lucky for you & me that I don't have any evident feelings towards you though I strongly believe that you're a good man. I'd love to fall in love with you but apparently that's not what you want with me. I'm trying to refuse this emotion I'm feeling of your honesty towards having another woman satisfying you, likewise, who am I to say anything? I'm just a friend. No, I don't have feelings for you... Get that right. Cos you're one helluva awesome friend (in bed too). It's just... Well, you're an almost perfect idea to ditch, that's all. Waste. Not my luck, but I fret not. And all I can tell you for now,
“Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation based love story. It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you a heady, hallucinogenic dose of something you never dare to admit that you wanted.”—Elizabeth Gilbert
I think it’s getting palpable that the problems are getting to me, barefaced. How to be strong when things start to crumble in front of you? Even when the best thing that happen to me in the morning when a dear girlfriend promise me a hug & told me she loves me no matter what.
Right now, the love of my gems & friends keep me going… Slowly, everyday. For that, I thank you.
“I intend to do everything I can to prove him wrong, or at least to fight that melancholic tendency with every tool in the shed. Whether this makes me self-defeatingly stubborn, or self-preservingly stubborn, I cannot say. But there I am.”—Elizabeth Gilbert - Eat Pray Love (via venuschild)
It’s not something you would admit to, but apparently I don’t know what else to do.
The great big Rayban shades helped to mask the affliction that I was going through. Physically, mentally, emotionally.
Coming back from Borneo did nothing but to make me realize that this year has been the toughest year I’d been through… so far. Borneo completed the torture of the pain anyone has to conquer… PHYSICAL.
It’s not a complaint, never, but more of an eye-opening experience I did physically. Mental torture from my job(s), emotional torture from my parents’ bitter separation (inclusive of the fact that I’ve been keeping the emotions since I’m sans a concrete companion despite telling bits & pieces of information to my friends).
Now I’m back into the concrete jungle feeling nothing but enlightenment from the rainforest & the soul searching that I did among the greens & blues. The tears that fall this morning was more of a mixed emotions of pride, sadness, satisfaction, pain, joy & for the fact that I’m beginning to feel more calm than ever.
I’m glad I did the trip. Contented, in fact.
As for now, I think my main agenda in life is to love & be loved. That’s all.
People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…